


heaven

by junodaisuke



Category: Persona 2, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, F/M, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Unrequited Love, pretty much just lisa angst bc she deserves some attention, theres so few fics for her!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28123578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junodaisuke/pseuds/junodaisuke
Summary: Lisa didn’t understand how Tatsuya could trust Jun so easily while she still woke from nightmare after nightmare of Joker’s piercing stare and twisted grin.She didn’t understand the pain in her chest when she saw the two of them linger at one another’s side, either.basically,lisa comes to terms with jun and her unrequited feelings for tatsuya in a series of snippets
Relationships: Kurosu Jun/Suou Tatsuya, Lisa Silverman/Suou Tatsuya, onesided tatsulisa and background tatsujun pretty much
Comments: 7
Kudos: 50
Collections: Marigolds Discord Recs





	heaven

**Author's Note:**

> this is inspired by the song heaven from persona 4
> 
> each snippet (they are chronological except for one flashback) is loosely based on a theme of each verse
> 
> i recommend you listen while you read !
> 
> i found its lyrics to be chillingly fitting for the story of persona 2, and specifically lisa’s character arc
> 
> enjoy :)

_ Can't get my mind out of those memories _

_ Now time to tell them "don't take my dream" _

Lisa woke with a jolt. Her sweat glazed hands immediately found her bed sheets, gripping them as if assuring herself that they were real, that she was safe in her room. 

Joker’s chilling one eyed stare refused to peel itself from her hazy vision. Her surroundings were too dark to make out, and as her eyes attempted to adjust, she could still see nothing but its sickeningly paper pale face, twisted into a cheshire grin. 

She clutched at her head as if in attempt to slow her thoughts, her fingers entangling her hair, almost nauseous as she noticed her heartbeat throbbing through her skull. 

Its not real. It wasn’t really him.

_ Its not fucking real.  _ Jun was safe now, and he would never hurt them. Not her, not Tatsuya, no one.

He would never wear that disgusting mask on his own will. Never wrap those white gloved hands around a pleading victims neck. Never grin as their dreams and souls seeped out from within them. 

Never, never, never. 

Lisa sunk her nails into her scalp and felt the warmth of blood dribble underneath her fingertips, yet the sensation did nothing to ground her.

She couldn’t feel it, not one bit.

_ Still music keeps on turning me from the words that hurt my soul _

_ Removing doubts from my mind _

Jun was gentle. Just as Lisa remembered from childhood, he was soft spoken as ever, his voice a warm honey, his words poetic and thoughtful. 

He even seemed reluctant and apologetic when fighting demons, for fuck’s sake. Certainly he could hold his ground and was  not  to be underestimated, but still- she couldn’t help but feel he was holding back. Like he was capable of more.

Tatsuya clearly did not sense this, jumping at every opportunity to protect Jun, more precious to him than she had ever been. She paid great attention to the two of them; the way Tatsuya would touch him so casually and how Jun would warmly return the gesture- it made her stomach turn. 

How could he trust him so easily, while Lisa woke from nightmare after nightmare of Jun shifting back into that cruel parasite? The boy’s mere presence made her hands tightly form into fists, as though waiting for the moment it would happen. 

And though it made her feel guilty, she went out of her way to keep an eye on him, at times. 

Perhaps the reason Jun held back was to put them at ease. Seeing him truly lash out, fight fiercely and to his full capacity- a scary thought indeed. That fear lingered after Jun proved himself as an ally, a friend. 

It certainly took weeks before the nightmares went away, yet she still found herself up at night pondering new fears. 

The terror had shifted to distrust after they rescued him at Caracol, and the distrust, lately, had shifted to-

Lisa bit her lip.

Jun’s words played over and over in her mind. Tauruses are known to be... jealous. 

The glances they exchanged. The wordless conversations between them. The way Jun seemed to be Tatsuya’s endless priority. The only thing he could see. The stupid lighter, always in his palm. 

It’s not fair.

The pang of hurt she felt in her chest whenever she noticed the two of them lingering at one another’s sides was something she could not ignore. 

Something about those two felt like more than just a close friendship. It seemed that Jun, in a matter of days, had stolen what Lisa had always been after. 

In truth, however, she began to find it harder and harder to hold any form of grudge against him. He was sweet, brilliant, even conversational with her at times- it certainly made her feel childish for any envy she harbored towards him. 

He quickly became aware (like anyone else who spent time around the two of them) of Lisa’s feelings for Tatsuya, but did nothing to make it seem like some immature competition like it had once been ten years ago. 

Memories that brought back something innocent yet bittersweet. 

_ Those long days passing by from the door _

_ Like late summer they slowly fade away _

Summer’s heat made Lisa’s plastic pink mask stick to her face, the sun beginning to make her skin match it’s artificial rosy color. 

She laid on her belly, sprawled out on the pavement, intently coloring a vivid picture.

Eikichi had brought his crayon set today and the four of them were each absorbed in their own artwork while Big Sis watched with a smile. She complimented Lisa’s neat lines and lovely color choices, which the younger girl returned with a beam, asking if she could tell who the drawing was of.

Maya examined the paper thoughtfully. A little blonde figure in a pink dress holding hands with a much taller brown haired figure, sporting a red suit. 

“It’s you and Tatsu, of course!” 

Lisa nodded in affirmation. “It’s our wedding day,” she added proudly. 

Jun perked up at this, craning his neck to see what his friend had drawn. Sure enough, Lisa’s paper showed a picture perfect bride and groom, smiling with hands linked.

He frowned. “How come  _ you  _ get to marry Tacchi?”

“Yeah,” Tatsuya himself chimed. “Who says i’m marrying you?”

Maya tried to calm the dispute by reminding them they have a long time before  any  of them will be getting married, but Lisa stayed firm. 

A typical stubborn Taurus, as Jun put it.

_ Finding ways through the favorite tune _

_ Playing all day with my eyes closed _

Lisa ran her fingers through Tatsuya’s auburn tendrils of hair, tugging gently on the light curls they formed at the base of his neck. The boy flinched, shifting uncomfortably under her touch- but remained in place and let his friend work flimsy braids into his hair.

It wasn’t quite long enough, she thought, but it was an excuse to close her eyes and pretend he would melt lovingly into her arms. 

A nice thought.

As much as she loved him, he was passive, if not a bit awkward at times. Allowing her to casually lean on him or even take his jacket when it was cold- he was a gentleman, of course, but he never indulged in her affection the way she wanted him to. 

So she was rather surprised when he agreed to let her attempt, at least, to braid his practically shoulder length hair. 

They sat wordlessly in the grass of the Seven Sister’s High lunch court, while chatter and laughter surrounded them. It was just barely warm enough to start eating outside again, and Tatsuya had begun to wear the summer uniform. 

Lisa could make out some details of his back through the thin white fabric; his shoulder blades, some thin pale scars adorning his otherwise tanned skin, and she thought of his many reckless battles before averting her eyes and finishing up the loose braids. 

She plucked the red band from her own hair and used it to fasten up her handiwork, admiring it proudly while Tatsuya sighed. He turned to face her, sporting his typical exasperated look which evoked a laugh from her. “You look cute!” 

He shook his head. “Don’t let anyone see me like this.” 

Lisa nodded, still beaming. No matter how reluctant he acted, there were always small things like this she could have. 

Even if her feelings were met with a constant indifference, she remained his friend. At times, she would do her best to give him space, but she was an affectionate person regardless of romantic or platonic intent. 

Whatever opportunity she had, she would take. 

_ Those long days passing by from the door _

_ Like late summer they slowly fade away _

“Is that too tight?” Jun asked timidly, wrapping thin bandages around Lisa’s bloodied hands. She shook her head, wincing slightly. The downside of fighting with your fists was the constant pain and sometimes bleeding afterwards. 

Typically Maya was the one to patch up her wounds post-battle, but she was preoccupied trying to get Eikichi to let her stitch up the cuts on his back. Lisa stifled a laugh hearing him whine while she doted on him. She really was like a mother to them, for better or for worse. 

In any case, that left her to attempt to bandage her own hands, until Jun noticed and insisted he help. 

They sat kneeled across from one another while Tatsuya watched from the wall.  _ Clink.Clink.  _ The familiar sound caused them both to glance up in his direction, then look back at each other. 

Lisa felt a sigh escape her lips as she held Jun’s gaze. There wasn’t so much as a trace of malevolence in those eyes. The way he gingerly tended to her battle worn hands felt so genuine, so gentle. Like he still cared for her despite all that had happened. 

“I’m sorry,” she gasped without thinking, staring at him. Jun said nothing at first, only briefly looking away. 

“It’s ok. If I were you, I would hate me.”

Lisa grasped his hands, doing her best to ignore the pain. “No. It’s not like that. I should have been there for you, after...” she trailed off, as if unable to say it. 

“After the things I did?” Jun faltered, shifting away from her. 

“None of that was your fault. You were being manipulated. You needed us to be there for you, and- and all I could do was think about myself. I was afraid. I shouldn’t have been.”

Silence. 

“i’m sorry,” she repeated. She hadn’t let go of his hands, even after he turned away. He hadn’t let go, either. 

“Jun.”

He remained quiet, but slowly turned back to her and resumed wrapping the bandages around her palms, still bleeding. When he finished, he finally let go, looking back up at her. 

Lisa swallowed, trying to find the right words.

“We’re safe now. No matter what, ok? No matter what. We’re never gonna let that happen to you, ever again. I’m here, Eikichi’s here, Maya’s here... Tatsuya... you know he’ll always protect you. He loves you.” She found herself speaking with a tinge of longing. 

“He loves you, too, Lisa.” 

“Not like he loves you.” 

Jun opened his mouth to protest, but they both knew the truth. Tatsuya really did care for Lisa, but he would never feel the same way she did. 

He belonged to Jun.

It might be a long time before she would get over that, but her friends were more important. 

They stared at one another for a moment longer before she stood up, offering him a hand. “C’mon. Thanks, for helping me,” she gestured to her bandaged fists with a grim smile. 

Jun smiled back, ever so slightly.

_ Finding ways through the favorite tune _

_ Filling me with those sounds _

Everything takes time. 

Nothing magically gets better over night, relationships are never mended perfectly with a few loving touches, feelings don’t go away that quickly.

But it does get easier.

Every time Lisa found an opportunity to talk with Jun, it got a little easier. Despite his introversion, he certainly responded better to her light touches and playful banter than Tatsuya did. Even as children they had a friendly, teasing dynamic that fell back into place as Jun adjusted to being himself again.

She found he was shockingly intelligent, still one for finding intricate meanings behind simple things like flowers and stars. He truly had not changed so much over ten years. She surprised herself, too, with how easy it was to talk to him after she began to chip away at the exterior she put up around him. 

She started to understand, too, why Tatsuya was so drawn to him.

Maya picked up on this, as she usual did, and admitted to Lisa that she was proud of her for her ability to let things go and move on- she hadn’t, really, but she appreciated the sentiment.

“Does it still hurt? Y’know... seeing them together like that,” Maya asked, sitting down next to her. 

Of course it still hurts. 

_ But... Tatsuya’s feelings were his and his alone.  _

She had always known that, but facing her shadow, saying it out loud at the Taurus Temple, somehow made it real. 

“No,” she only partially lied.

“I’m glad. And I’m here for you, ok? You were really brave today. Facing your shadow, I mean.” The look in her eyes gleamed with  _ I love you, I’m proud of you.  _

Lisa felt her head tilt down onto Maya’s shoulder and her eyes flutter shut, as the older woman shifted to place an arm around her. 

“Maya...?”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever been rejected?”

A beat passed before Maya admitted that in high school, she had feelings for a girl who turned out to be straight. Lisa’s mouth fell open for a second before thinking about how that must’ve felt, and apologizing- to which Maya responded with a laugh and reassured her that she’s been over it for a long time.

Another silence passed as Lisa thought back to her shadow, its contorted face, its hollow eyes, its angry accusations and taunts. It demanded that Tatsuya be hers and no one else’s, but she knew better than that. 

Tatsuya’s hesitant admission that he had feelings for someone else had stung, but more than anything else it was relieving. To finally stand before him and declare how she felt,  _ formally,  _ even if his response was one they both already knew, somehow it lifted away a burden she hadn’t been aware of before. 

As if Maya could read her thoughts, she tentatively squeezed her shoulder. “You’ve grown so much, Lisa.” She trailed off for a moment. 

“I’m glad you and Jun are friends, still. You two are amazing kids... all of you are.”

Lisa nodded, burying her head in Maya’s chest.

For some reason, she started to feel tears in her eyes. Maya noticed her silent trembling and wrapped both arms around the girl, bringing her into a comforting hug.

“Shh... I know. It’s ok. Heartbreak hurts.”

Lisa shook her head again, shaking a bit this time. Not heartbreak. Not rejection. She wasn’t sure what was paining her, but it wasn’t Tatsuya, she was sure of that.

It took them both a moment to process it.

_ “Jun,”  _ Lisa whispered, hardly audible. 

Maya said nothing, only slowing her breathing in attempt to calm her younger counterpart down.

“...He feels... so guilty for something that wasn’t even his fault... and he feels guilty for  my  feelings.. he- always- - apologizes to me like he’s doing something wrong, I want him to be... happy...and..,” she felt herself unable to even make out her own words. 

“... I want both of them to be happy.”

Maya hummed in understanding agreement. “They want the same for you. I promise.”

Lisa pulled away and sat across from Maya, looking down towards her lap in shame from the unexpected tears. 

Before she could apologize or dwell, Maya cupped her face with one hand and let Lisa lean into the touch, empathetically holding her with a mother’s love in her gaze. Using her thumb to wipe away the last of her tears, she let her rest there for a moment.

She deserved just a moment of security, of love. 


End file.
